Everything is fine. I'm fine. I say as I wander aimlessly from distraction to distraction, trembling and loath to confront it. But deep within me like a claw scraping at my guts, there is terror. There is despair. It haunts me, "the end is nigh, you will fade into darkness, dust to the wind." "Silence," … Continue reading Everything is fine.
A warning that the following might come across as somewhat inflamed and judgemental. I assure you that it's not meant to offend. I'm just trying to speak honestly about something very personal. Discussion is welcome. Nothing can distance me from my religious convictions quite like a walk in the city. This is not a misanthropic statement. I'm … Continue reading Not my Religion.
Despite the calm, collected, and polished image of family life that I flaunt in my digital persona, I can assure you that our reality is entirely ordinary. We are a family: a yelling, fighting, struggling, crying, laughing, failing, winning, striving, totally-unsure-of-what-to-do-next kind of family. Now that you know how ordinary we are, I want to … Continue reading Thoughts on Parenting and Autonomy
Last night I sat in a circle of souls gathered around a mother who had just lost her son, Feras. He was young. His passing was unexpected. This circle of companions grieved together through prayer, stories, and song. A lingering embrace now-and-then to express words of consolation in whispered tones. And I listened as my … Continue reading The Assumption of Immortality
In the absence of presence and in the silence of darkness, a mind wanders and lingers on failures it fixates on entangled versions of this thought and that one, the wrong one the right one, ensnared by perception, but never contented; serenity slips through damp fingers made wet from the downpour of a cloud swelling, ruptured … Continue reading Never as dark